PLAY #8: BUILD RELATIONSHIPS

We live out the importance of relationships in creating a neighborhood plan.

WHAT WE LEARNED:

In centering resident voices, it is important to curate space where residents lead the conversation. These conversations help relationships form among residents as they learn each other’s strengths, motives, passions, communication styles, and what makes them unique. There need to be opportunities where the only goal is for stakeholders (especially residents) to be attentively engaged to learn these things about each other. Some will want to resist this space and being in relationship. It’s helpful to understand that collaborative relationships and trust don’t always have to go hand in hand. Trust can take time, dedication, authenticity, consistency, deep listening, and showing up. Relationships can serve a purpose without having trust. Navigating these elements can be uncomfortable and touchy for some, but can impact the success of the planning process. The idea is to negotiate operating in a way and at a pace that the resident group and stakeholders can mutually agree about.

WECOLLAB HIGHLIGHT:

weCollab was very intentional about how residents were brought together to be a part of the planning process. Steering Committee members who knew each other or lived in the same block recruited from other parts of the neighborhood to make sure it was evenly represented to help build trust. Residents pushed for landowners and surrounding organizations with influence in the planning footprint to be engaged and informed of the work they were doing. There was a unique dedication to transparency in this planning process that encouraged residents to join. Newer residents joined the effort once they learned which of their neighbors were behind the bold statements being made in early drafts of the plan. Residents and support teams were willing to stay late to discuss difficult topics because of the trust they built that everyone was committed to the work. Time, exposure to each other and different groups, and moving through highs and lows without giving up strengthened the weCollab relationships. Relationships with other stakeholders took a different approach. For example, due the failure of the city to keep its past promises, residents lost trust in the city and it’s programs. Despite their misgivings, weCollab chose to establish a relationship with the Land Reutilization Authority of the city in order to make resident requests known.

Residents and Invest STL Neighborhood Solidarity Partner congregating after a steering committee meeting.

Steering Committee Members reflecting on their experiences in the nieghborhood after a celebration.

Residents and facilitators at the 2022 Summer Community Healing Event.

PRACTICE EXERCISES

  • Conduct a Rose/Thorn activity at a planning meeting. Everyone can share one positive thing they are feeling/thinking/seeing about the process and one challenge or concern they experience or observe
  • Brainstorm annual events your neighborhood can have to simply bring people together
  • Host a dinner with your planning partner and residents to get to know each other before you kick-off planning work

REFLECTION PROMPTS

(for each player)

RESIDENTS
  • What do you value about your neighbors?
  • What about you can your neighbors say is reliable and valuable to your efforts together?
  • What interactions between you and your neighbors have moved you towards a trusting relationship? What interactions have made trust harder or slower to create?
NEIGHBORHOOD-BASED ORGS
  • What do you value about the resident leadership and other groups in the neighborhood?
  • What about your organization can residents and other groups say is reliable and valuable to your efforts together?
  • What interactions between your organization and neighborhood stakeholders have moved you towards a trusting relationship? What interactions have made trust harder or slower to create?
CONSULTANTS
  • Beyond being your client, what do you value about the resident leaders collectively and individually?
  • Particularly with resident leaders and their neighbors, how do you strive to show up for and with your partners?
  • How will you cultivate a trusting relationship with resident leaders? Reflecting on your prior work with communities, what actions of yours contributed to relationships weak in trust?
FUNDERS
  • What do you value about the community you’re investing in?
  • Viewing the money as nothing more than an input in the process, how do you strive to show up for and with the community and resident leaders you are investing in?
  • How will you cultivate mutual trust and value with resident leaders? What actions of yours, if any, might contribute to weakening trust in the relationship?
LOCAL GOVERNMENT
  • What do you value about the community you’re working in for this process?

  • What about your representation and service delivery in planning processes can residents say is reliable and valuable to your efforts together?

  • Which interactions and decisions between your representatives and neighborhood stakeholders have moved you towards a trusting relationship? Which have made trust harder or slower to build?

    PLAY #9: SET & MANAGE EXPECTATIONS

    We set realistic expectations for ourselves and collaborators to sustain active participation.

    WHAT WE LEARNED:

    Neighborhood planning requires a significant commitment of time, talent, and energy. For those who are leading the process, it is critical for the group and the individual members to set their limits and expectations before they jump in. This can help prevent burnout. It is also the responsibility of resident leaders and facilitators to provide enough information for partners and other stakeholders to confidently decide how they want to get involved or commit. Make clear asks of collaborators so they can be aligned, participate meaningfully, and meet the expectations of the process. Everyone can contribute at different levels, and being upfront about what is needed and what you and others can commit and withstand helps the group plan. You may want to ask questions like “Generally, what days and time of day is better for you to meet? How are you interested in serving? What kind of activities excite you? What kind of activities are draining for you?”

    It’s also helpful for all collaborators to know that while their exact wishes for involvement may not always be met, understanding what commitment and limitations look like upfront allows everyone to reasonably manage expectations and navigate adjustments when needed.

    WECOLLAB HIGHLIGHT:

    Early on, the Steering Committee decided to elect a subgroup to guide the committee and make some day-to-day decisions. In addition to the every-other-week Steering Committee meetings, this subgroup of Executive Committee members held meetings in the opposite weeks and made time for additional discussions when needed. This meant the Executive Committee met at least weekly. About two thirds of the way through the planning process, the Executive Committee expressed to us (as their funder) their sincere burnout from the process and needing to take a step back. They shared this with the larger Steering Committee and together decided to merge into one committee and nominate co-chairs. Instead of meeting on alternating weeks, they combined into one meeting every other week so the Executive Committee members could get some relief and more Steering Committee members could share in the work. By being transparent about their shift in expectations for themselves, they were able to choose a solution that protected the time and energy of all committee members, allowing them to continue to remain active and meaningfully engage.

    Khatib Waheed, West End Resident and Steering Committee Member.

    Hear from Khatib on what it was like to join the planning process while maintaining healthy expectations.

    PRACTICE EXERCISES

    Research “group norms” or “working agreements.” These are guidelines that define how groups want to work together, and what they want from each other to feel safe and free to learn, explore and discover. Brainstorm a few agreements you think would be beneficial for your group. See examples from weCollab meetings on Play #12 “Embrace Conflict”

    REFLECTION PROMPTS

    (for each player)

    RESIDENTS
    • What time, skills, talents, resources, and relationships are you willing to contribute to the planning process?

    • Acknowledging we can’t be all things to anyone, what should your partners not depend on you for in this process?

    • Fill in the blank and share with your partners: So I can contribute meaningfully and stay engaged in this process, it is helpful to me if you/we __________. (ex: schedule meetings a week in advance)

    NEIGHBORHOOD-BASED ORGS
    • What time, skills, talents, resources, and relationships are you willing to contribute to the planning process?

    • Acknowledging organizations have limitations, what should your partners not depend on you for in this process?

    • Fill in the blank and share with your partners: So our organization can contribute meaningfully and stay engaged in this process, it is helpful to us if you/we __________. (ex: work together to plan outreach events)

    CONSULTANTS
    • What are the time, resource, and quality constraints for the services and deliverables you commit to in your scope?

    • How can you staff so residents get continuity in relationship and communication from your team?

    • Fill in the blank and share with your partners: So our team can live up to our scope of work, it is helpful to us if you/we __________. (ex: review materials before we gather)

    FUNDERS
    • Beyond funding, what are you willing to contribute to the planning process?

    • What prior constraints on funding and disbursement are you willing to remove or adjust to support a resident-led and -centered process? What constraints are immovable?

    • Fill in the blank and share with your partners: So we can contribute meaningfully in this process, it is helpful to us if you/we __________. (ex: let us know when plans change)

    LOCAL GOVERNMENT
    • What are the time, staffing,information flow and transparency, resource, and decision-making constraints for your departments in this process?

    • How can you staff so residents get relationship continuity and information and resource alignment from your departments?

    • Fill in the blank and share with your partners: So we can fulfill our role in this process, it is helpful to us if you/we __________. (ex: copy Trey on all requests)

    PLAY #10: INVITE DIALOGUE

    We actively listen, observe, and speak to encourage and participate in insightful and generative conversation toward our neighborhood’s goals.

    WHAT WE LEARNED:

    We all want to be heard. Oftentimes the best solutions come from a variety of ideas and contributions from different voices. Facilitating strong dialogue can produce rich information that leads to better recommendations and policies. We provided tools in the “Be Observant” card that will help to invite dialogue.

    Everyone has experiences that impact how they show up in planning efforts. It helps to:

    – Observe the ways in which people show up
    – Be curious about why they show up that way
    – Consider how to encourage participation and progress

    Viewing everyone as an asset with insight to contribute encourages curiosity about what people know. Consultants can invite dialogue with prompts and questions that excite and inspire stakeholders to foster collaboration. Local government can create and streamline communication channels from residents through polls, newsletters, or public forums. Stakeholders should be sensitive to what makes people comfortable to open up.

    WECOLLAB HIGHLIGHT:

    Several times throughout the process the Steering Committee engaged residents in unplanned dialogue sessions based on what they heard from residents, specifically tension points. “We hosted a listening session at the beginning of the process to enable residents to freely talk about their experiences in the neighborhood and build a level of trust about the impending planning process. We also hosted sessions to facilitate dialogue about gentrification (facilitated by Creating Whole Communities, UMSL) and racial equity (facilitated by Khatib Waheed of the Racial Equity Learning Exchange)” recalls Treena Thompson, Steering Committee Advisor and resident of the West End. 

    In working with the weCollab Residents, the planning partner, YARD, actively modeled how to listen and read the room. This gave residents confidence to challenge the possibilities to get what they truly desired. For example, YARD presented two options to the steering committee but no one really spoke up in favor or against the options. Discussion often led to a third or fourth option that combined or modified parts of the options presented.

    “Planners have to make room for that. Leave space for residents to come up with their own answers. They may just need a little time to think or do their own research.” – April Walker, weCollab Ambassador.

    “Inviting dialogue is largely about listening. Observe the silence. Why don’t certain people speak up? Are different communication methods better than others?” – Kevin, YARD

    Our Neighborhood Solidarity Partner often employed her skills as a facilitator to invite dialogue. She would ask questions to clarify from the planning partner as well as what residents intentions were with specific questions or positions on a particular topic, even if she personally knew the answer.

    Residents at early stage dialogue sessions about gentrification.

     

    Residents at listening session in the neighborhood.

     

    PRACTICE EXERCISES

    Consider decisions you have to make in your planning process. Invite residents to list pros and cons. Outline scenarios for residents to reflect on and imagine what outcomes they want. Create social opportunities for free discussion.

    REFLECTION PROMPTS

    (for each player)

    RESIDENTS
    • How do you like to be invited into a conversation or to add your opinions, experiences, or concerns?

    • How and in what spaces do you and your neighbors make your thoughts known and exchange ideas?

    • When a partner or stakeholder’s thought or action seems fuzzy to you, what are your own signals (deep sigh, finger tap, etc) to remind you to ask a question and open up dialogue?

    NEIGHBORHOOD-BASED ORGS
    • Does your organization’s “vibe” encourage residents to be in regular conversation with you? How can it be leveraged or adjusted for this process?
    • In what ways and spaces do neighbors already use to let their thoughts be known and exchange ideas?
    • When the room is silent after you’ve given an idea or opinion, what can you ask the room to open up dialogue?
    CONSULTANTS
    • Does your team’s “vibe” encourage residents to be in regular conversation with you? How can it be leveraged or adjusted for this process?

    • How can you organize sessions with residents so they encourage two-way conversation?

    • As you get to know the residents, partners, and other stakeholders in this process, what are the signals that you’ll look for to open up dialogue instead of assuming a silent room means understanding or agreement?

    FUNDERS
    • Does your organization’s “vibe” encourage residents to be in regular conversation with you? How can it be leveraged or adjusted for this process?

    • What points in the process lend themselves to you intentionally checking in with residents and the partners to spark conversation if needed?

    • Are there tools or lessons from other initiatives you’ve funded that can be used in this process to keep dialogue open between partners?

    LOCAL GOVERNMENT
    • As a unit, does your “vibe” encourage residents to be in regular conversation with you? How can it be leveraged or adjusted for this process?

    • In what ways and spaces does the neighborhood already use to let their thoughts be known and exchange ideas that you can plug into?

    • Are there tools, methods, or technology from other initiatives that you can lend to support open dialogue throughout this neighborhood’s process?

    PLAY #11: BUILD COURAGE

    We practice and engage in activities that take us out of our comfort zone.

    WHAT WE LEARNED:

    New development in your neighborhood can be daunting. Neighborhood planning especially may be new to many. When you then create space for everyday people to lead the charge and come up with solutions to their neighborhoods problems, you are likely to encounter some resistance and fear. Discomfort with the process can make it harder for people to engage. There are ways to overcome this challenge! Practice, exposure, and grace allow those involved to identify, lean into, and strengthen their knowledge and gifts toward creating a more meaningful and equitable planning process.

    WECOLLAB HIGHLIGHT:

    It was daunting to our planning partners to involve residents in stakeholder meetings that were typically held without them. Following a resident-led model meant giving residents a seat and a voice at these stakeholder tables. Aside from the challenge of getting institutional and resident schedules to align, the planning partners feared that stakeholders might not be transparent or honest about how their activities might impact residents. “I was worried about having residents in the room. Will developers be honest about what they’re doing in front of residents?” – Kevin, YARD & Company.

    To uphold a resident-led model, creating space where residents and government officials or organization leaders could meet together became a courageous effort. Residents asked for prep time with the planning partner to study and get comfortable with the material they would be presenting to the likes of Community Improvement District (CID) leaders, elected officials, and executives at local institutions. They practiced their presentation talking points and got clarity and critique. Many residents made time in their schedules to attend stakeholder meetings and even present parts of the plan to certain groups. This all built the residents’ confidence in their knowledge and understanding of the plan and their ability to present it.

    PRACTICE EXERCISES

    People often feel most courageous when they are operating in their strengths. At your next neighborhood meeting, ask everyone to share their community building superpower. Ask “if you were a superhero in your neighborhood, what would your powers be?” Share with the group your unique skills, experiences, and personality traits that positively contribute to developing the plan.

    REFLECTION PROMPTS

    (for each player)

    RESIDENTS
    • What principles or values are behind your positions when you and your neighbors find yourselves at odds?

    • To protect a productive and supportive process, what works for you to do in the heat of the moment to keep yourself from shutting down or going too far? What can others say or do to help you in the moment?

    • How will you work together when your group’s interactions grow tense?

    NEIGHBORHOOD-BASED ORGS
    • What principles or values are behind your positions when organizations in the neighborhood are at odds?
    • What potential conflicts or misalignments have been brewing in the neighborhood that, with care, can be navigated through to enhance this process?
    • What tactics or practices will your organization use to support neighborhood stakeholders in embracing and moving through conflict?
    CONSULTANTS
    • What is your natural response when conflict arises? How can you leverage or adjust your response to support a resident-led process?

    • What tactics or practices will you use to support neighborhood stakeholders in embracing and moving through conflict?

    • When there are seemingly opposing views on a concept or recommendation you offer, how will you support the group in uncovering the root of their opposition?

    FUNDERS
    • What processes do you have in place to navigate conflict when it arises with or among those you invest in?

    • When conflict arises between you and neighborhood stakeholders, how can you elevate the neighborhood versus using the input of money as permission to overpower?

    • What partnerships or other resources can you offer in this process to support neighborhood stakeholders to navigate conflict when needed?

    LOCAL GOVERNMENT
    • What potential conflicts or misalignments have been brewing in the neighborhood that, with care, can be navigated through to enhance this process?

    • When conflict arises between your representatives and neighborhood stakeholders, how can your representatives elevate the neighborhood versus using the position of government as permission to overpower?

    • What partnerships or other resources can you offer in this process to support neighborhood stakeholders to navigate conflict when needed?

    PLAY #12: EMBRACE CONFLICT

    We embrace conflict in ways that make our collaboration stronger.

    WHAT WE LEARNED:

    Conflict is inevitable in a planning process or any collaborative work. When you allow yourselves to slow down and explore moments of tension or disagreement, you can create opportunities for the group to gain clarity, become even closer, and to discover creative solutions that may not have been found avoiding conflict. Navigating conflict well can create positive outcomes. Try these steps when your group faces conflict.

    1. First, frankly acknowledge the discomfort without judgment or assigning blame within your group.

    2. Invite everyone involved to reflect on their feelings and observations and to identify what (not who) for them is the source of discomfort. Individual reflection can take many forms, including a pause to journal, or simply to sit in silence for a moment and take a few deep breaths.

    3. Follow reflection with an invitation for group dialogue. Here is where focusing on “working agreements” or “group norms” can help strengthen relationships. Refer to the Practice in the “Set + Manage Expectations” card.
    a.) Asking questions and being sincerely curious about your collaborators’ perspectives and experiences can lead to new answers and new ways of doing things. This builds trust and understanding in the group and the process.
    b.) Anchoring dialogue in the group’s value(s) can help reach a productive outcome by identifying which ideas, feelings, and actions are aligned with shared values. Are these ideas helpful or harmful to hold onto? Using common value(s) as an anchor when navigating conflict brings stronger alignment within the group.c. Having a facilitator in these moments is helpful for productive discovery and building solutions, even if a member of the group is temporarily assigned (See Staffing + Roles Play). They can support the group in upholding the working agreements, being curious, and focusing on the conversation of the moment.Creating a culture that respects and finds value in everyone’s opinions and experiences, can help groups work through conflict for stronger outcomes.

    WECOLLAB HIGHLIGHT:

    There was a time where the facilitator observed and heard murmurs of potential conflicts and disagreements among the Steering Committee. They reached out to a local group called the Black Healers Collective to facilitate healing salons. Without specifically naming the issues, they aimed to build the Steering Committee’s understanding around conflict and how it can be generative.

    The facilitators also observed disagreements coming up in Steering Committee meetings that were the result of a lack of understanding and members making general statements. To turn these potential conflicts into understanding and progress, we established a working agreement for all meetings moving forward. Some examples include:

    Don’t leave “in the gray”: get clarity before moving on
    One mic: one person speaks at a time
    Use your “I” voice: speak for oneself instead of making generalizations that represent the entire neighborhood
    These encouraged members to lean in more to better understand why there was disagreement and to work through it, as well as, be specific about their questions and concerns.

    PRACTICE EXERCISES

    Feel your ears getting hot, your pulse quickening, or you pulling back from the group’s conversation? Take a few breaths to pause, ask a meaningful question and actively listen to the response with an open mind and heart.

    REFLECTION PROMPTS

    (for each player)

    RESIDENTS
    • What principles or values are behind your positions when you and your neighbors find yourselves at odds?

    • To protect a productive and supportive process, what works for you to do in the heat of the moment to keep yourself from shutting down or going too far? What can others say or do to help you in the moment?

    • How will you work together when your group’s interactions grow tense?

    NEIGHBORHOOD-BASED ORGS
    • What principles or values are behind your positions when organizations in the neighborhood are at odds?
    • What potential conflicts or misalignments have been brewing in the neighborhood that, with care, can be navigated through to enhance this process?
    • What tactics or practices will your organization use to support neighborhood stakeholders in embracing and moving through conflict?
    CONSULTANTS
    • What is your natural response when conflict arises? How can you leverage or adjust your response to support a resident-led process?

    • What tactics or practices will you use to support neighborhood stakeholders in embracing and moving through conflict?

    • When there are seemingly opposing views on a concept or recommendation you offer, how will you support the group in uncovering the root of their opposition?

    FUNDERS
    • What processes do you have in place to navigate conflict when it arises with or among those you invest in?

    • When conflict arises between you and neighborhood stakeholders, how can you elevate the neighborhood versus using the input of money as permission to overpower?

    • What partnerships or other resources can you offer in this process to support neighborhood stakeholders to navigate conflict when needed?

    LOCAL GOVERNMENT
    • What potential conflicts or misalignments have been brewing in the neighborhood that, with care, can be navigated through to enhance this process?

    • When conflict arises between your representatives and neighborhood stakeholders, how can your representatives elevate the neighborhood versus using the position of government as permission to overpower?

    • What partnerships or other resources can you offer in this process to support neighborhood stakeholders to navigate conflict when needed?